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Have you ever noticed how at the bank, the pens are always attached to chains? Are they worried about pen theft? Like, are there pen thieves lurking around, waiting for an opportunity to strike? "I just wanted to withdraw $20, officer, not commit grand larceny with a Bic pen.
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Isn't it ironic that the place where we go to save our money is also the place that charges us for not having enough of it? It's like a reverse Robin Hood – taking from the poor and giving to the... well, the bank.
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The bank is the only place where you can feel simultaneously rich and broke. You check your balance at the ATM, and for a split second, you're convinced you're the next Rockefeller. But then reality hits, and you realize you're more like the treasurer of the broke association.
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You know you're an adult when going to the bank becomes a highlight of your week. Forget parties or concerts, give me a good interest rate and a polite teller, and I'm living my best life.
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Why do banks still have those pens on chains? It's like they're saying, "Here's a pen, but we don't trust you with it. It's more secure than the vault, apparently.
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Going to the bank is like participating in a covert mission. You walk in, trying to act casual, but the moment you approach the teller, it's like you're defusing a bomb. "I'd like to make a withdrawal... discreetly, please.
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The bank's idea of customer service is having you fill out a form in triplicate, and then asking, "Can I help you with anything else?" Yeah, how about inventing a time machine so I can get those 20 minutes back?
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The bank is like the only place where you can proudly display impatience. I mean, we've all been there, standing in line, tapping our feet like we're auditioning for a percussion band. And then, when the person in front finally finishes, we act all casual, like we weren't just mentally composing our resignation letter.
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You ever notice how the bank is the only place where we're perfectly okay with having our pockets turned inside out? I mean, if a friend tried to do that on the street, I'd call the police, but at the bank, it's just business as usual.
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