4 Jokes For A Mole

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jun 21 2024

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I've contemplated removing my mole, you know, give it an eviction notice. But then I realized it's like a lifelong tenant; it's paid its rent with years of character development! And imagine the shock to people who've known me forever if suddenly my mole went AWOL. They'd be like, "Who are you and what have you done with the guy with the mole?"
Besides, I've come to terms with it. It's my tiny sidekick, my miniature mascot. It's been there through thick and thin, reminding me that perfection is overrated. So here's to my little buddy, my facial feature with a mole-mentous impact!
Have you ever noticed how people get fascinated by your mole? It's like an unspoken rule of social etiquette to pretend they're not staring at it. "Oh, what a lovely... uh, view!" But then there's always that one person who's overly curious. They'll be like, "Can I touch it? Does it have magical powers?" Yeah, it's not a genie's lamp, folks! I don't rub it for wishes!
And let me tell you about the unsolicited advice! "Hey, have you tried this magic potion from the Himalayas to make it disappear?" Oh sure, let me just summon an ancient mole-shaman to perform a vanishing act! It's my mole, not a side quest in a video game!
You know, I've got this little buddy on my face. Yeah, a mole, not a furry critter, but that small spot hanging out like it's scouting the territory. It's like my personal GPS for self-consciousness. I swear, it's got a mind of its own. It's like, "Hey there, I'm here to add character... or just confuse your dermatologist!"
I went to get it checked once. Doctor was like, "That mole's been with you for a while, right?" I'm like, "Yeah, Doc, it's the longest relationship I've ever had." But seriously, they always make it sound like your mole's planning an uprising or something. "Watch out, it might turn into a super-mole and take over your entire face!
I've realized my mole has become a weather forecaster. Seriously, it changes color more often than a chameleon at a disco. One day, it's blending in like camouflage; the next, it's throwing a neon party! I've thought about naming it based on its mood swings. "Meet Moody Moley, folks!"
But hey, there's a silver lining to this mole cloud! It's a built-in conversation starter. "Hey, how's it going?" "Good, wanna hear about the adventures of my mole?" Instant icebreaker! Who needs small talk when you've got a charismatic mole stealing the show?

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